:+:my voice within:+:

My Ideal Guy

2010-10-01T02:05:00.000-07:00

I still remember the day I met you.
It was nothing and not that special too.
I was not interested and not fond,
And never ever thought of being bound.

As time passed, we came to know each other.
Shared thoughts, dreams, secrets and also desires.
Then we started to laugh at our jokes,
And listened to our problems, fears and hopes.

I saw more of you with each passing day.
And discovered that you are not that gay.
That you love to read J.K. Rowling's books,
And your sight, without glasses, will get crooked.

Without noticing much, I fell for you.
It may be unexpected, but it's true.
I don't have much choice but to tell you this.
So I sent you many cards with one wish.

After that, I was confused and worried.
Didn't know what'll the outcome of my deed.
Because of this stupid thing I did,
I have jeopardized our precious friendship.

I was hoping for something negative,
'Coz I'm thinking that you're young and naive.
I was expecting from you to say "no".
But you have answered me with "I don't know".

I didn't rise my hopes with such answer.
Instead, I'm thankful that you're still there.
You didn't change a bit, still the same.
The only Ahmad, who in my life, came.

I still can't believe what happened that day.
On the third day of June, if I may say.
When I received the letter and read it,
He had confessed everything bit by bit.

It was like a dream come true on my part,
'Coz I look up on him from the start.
To me, he's an unreachable star.
A dream boy who is away and so far.

He is a perfect and ideal guy.
Intelligent, religious, but he's shy.
He is a book lover and have hooked nose,
And wears frame less eyeglasses, I suppose.

It's very difficult to put in words,
When you are feeling unsure and absurd.
But I'm certain that this poem is enough
To express my feelings to my true love.

:)

Learning Experience

2010-06-07T01:29:00.000-07:00

Activity: Fecalysis
Date Performed: October 21, 2009

This activity was one of the most exciting activities we had done in our Biology class. Why? One thing is that it involved feces (ewww) and another thing is that we made a fecal smear and examined it as if we were really Medical Technologists. It is really one of the best laboratory activities ever!

After gathering all the necessary materials like the microscope, glass slide and the Normal Saline Solution (NSS), the most important specimen was placed at the center of the table. Jzer brought it which was according to him was his sister’s feces. When Sir Danda opened the container, the smell of the feces penetrated our olfactory senses. One of the most important things to remember is that feces are naturally smelly! Then Sir Danda showed us how to make a smear by dipping a toothpick in all corners of the feces in the container and spreading it in circular motion in the glass slide with a drop of NSS. One thing to remember is that the smear should only have a thin surface to be able to view it clearly under the microscope. Then after making the smear, he placed in under the LPO (10x) and started viewing it. After sometime, he let us view the specimen and we saw different things. There were granule-like substances in circular shape and some fibers were also visible. There were also clumps of granules which Sir Danda said were undigested food. One of our objectives was to see even a single egg that is why we were a bit disappointed at first because we didn’t see any egg of parasite. But after some minutes of constant scrutiny, Sir Danda was able to detect an egg. It was a red oval-shaped egg which Sir Danda said was the egg of Trichuris trichuria (Tt). Of course, we were thrilled to know that there are eggs of parasite in the feces! Our objective was met! Success! The secret behind that is that you should just be meticulous and patient in looking at the specimen. Right?

After the activity, we threw the glass slide and disinfected the working table. This is to make sure that the table is clean and safe from bacteria. Then we returned the microscope in the stock room.

WHERE WILL I BE FROM HERE?

2010-06-07T01:24:00.000-07:00

Where? I have no idea too. It really is a difficult question to answer because we never know what the future has for us. But for the sake of answering the question, I might as well assume where I desire to be from here.

In my worldly pursuit, I only desire, inshaAllah (if Allah wills) , to go to Mecca to fulfill the fifth pillar of Islam, which is Hajj (pilgrimage). It might have no connect with what I am studying now but that is the only answer I can give. In this world, that would be the most desirable place to go. After studying and passing the board exam, and if I have a job already, I will save money to be able to fulfill my dream. And inshaAllah, I’ll go to Mecca

Talking religiously,

my utmost desire would be to go to al-Jannah (Paradise)

, inshaAllah Ameen. It is a bit difficult to explain through words because my desire to go to this place is indescribable. I don’t know how to start or what to say. I think I’ll say end it this way.

Raissa T. Guldam
BSMT-1A
10-27-09

WHY AM I HERE?

2010-06-07T01:21:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, I also asked myself this question. I also wonder why I am here. But it is hard to find the right words to explain my being here. But oh well, I need to answer this and I’ll just try my best.

First thing that my mind will come up when being asked this question is that everyone goes to college. I mean, it’s a normal trend or shall I say a requirement. It is a requirement so that in the future, if God wills, you’ll have a decent and good job. But when I’m feeling lazy, my answer for this would be, we go to college to gain more knowledge, just that.

For less indolent days, I would answer this question more deeply. My answer for this question was just recently realized and I bet many people would disagree with me. But it’s my idea and no one can prevent me from saying it. Honestly, I think one of the reason why I am here in college is to satisfy what other people wants for me.

Candidly, I would love and choose to study about Islam than be here in college.

Why? Simply, because it is more important for a Muslim like me. But because my parents, my uncles, my aunts and everyone I know expect me to be a doctor someday, so here I am, flapping my wings in the face of college. But I didn’t say that I don’t want to be in college. What I said is just that I prefer to study Islam than be here. Although there is the desire in me that I also want to finish a degree, but my thirst for knowledge in Islam is too much. That’s why I motivate myself that I just need to finish one degree and maybe, if God wills, I can start my in-depth study on Islam. Of course, I am thankful to God that I have this opportunity to study in college that’s why I will really do my best. I also want to repay everything my parents had done for me by presenting them my diploma and license. I also keep in my heart that whatever I do, just like this studying in college, it’s for God’s sake and nothing more. I don’t have the thinking that I go to college because I want to be rich someday, or I want to be famous, but because whatever I get from studying, I’ll be able to use it for good deeds in my everyday life.

Raissa T. Guldam
BSMT-1A
10-27-09

WHO AM I?

2010-06-07T01:19:00.000-07:00

For sixteen years of living in this world, this “who am I?” question always end up with diffident answers. But as for now, as how I have assessed myself, maybe I can try my best shot in answering this. I may not be so sure about my answers and maybe you will not agree with some, but well, that is the best that I can do.

Typically, when I asked myself of this question, I automatically and jestingly answer it by saying my name. I tell myself that I am Raissa Guldam, no more. But in different mood and environment, when I will ask myself of this question, I might have a different answer or maybe several answers. But it depends upon my mood.

Generally, my full name is Raissa Tutanes Guldam. My biological parents are Mr. And Mrs. Rubi K. Guldam and my brothers are called Ashraf, 19 and Nizar, 12. I am the second child and only girl among the siblings that is why I think of myself as someone special in the family. I don’t have the most perfect relationship with my brothers but we get along well most of the time. My dad and I used to be close when I was a little girl but since I entered high school, the closeness drifted. Although we still talk a lot, but not the way we used to be when I was little which sometimes made me think that we never really got close. Or maybe time really changes people. But I surely do love them all for Allah’s sake.

When I was a little girl, I had fantasized of meeting my Prince Charming, of living in a lofty mansion, and all those sorts of dreams. I thought I can get whatever I want in just a snap, just like what I see in the movies. But of course, I was wrong. When my thinking was matured enough, I came to know what the real world is. That it is not possible to achieve something without exerting any effort. If you really desire this thing, you have to take the risk of pursuing it, taking the risk of failure or success. That there is no real Prince Charming or the so-called knight in shining armour who will save you in times of need. Maybe there will be some who will help you but not your Prince Charming. That a lofty mansion and luxury is not the key to happiness and tranquility. That this world is just a temporary place and we should not be blinded by its beauty hence, we should desire for that permanent place, Paradise. And that whatever happened and will happen to you, may it be bad or good, it was/is God’s will and it was/is what’s best for you. You just need to be patient and trust God for He is the All-Knowing. So many important lessons I have learned from my life experiences and day to day encounter with different people, which I’m sure, shaped and fashioned my character.

They said that I am a capricious and stubborn girl. Yes, I agree. Capriciousness is I think a common trait for a woman that’s why I really don’t bother myself in eradicating it. Stubbornness is another thing because it’s not a good trait. I don’t know why but I really go against anything that does not suit my personal thinking. I sometimes become unreasonable and close-minded due to my stubbornness that’s why for me, it is a dangerous trait. Another thing is that I am 101% lazy. Yes, you read it right. LAZY. SLOTH. It is a known fact in our home that’s why whenever they asked me to do something, I always remind them that I am a lazy person and that they should not rely with me. It’s a lousy excuse though. That’s why my dad used to talk to me about my slothfulness and I just nod at him. I don’t know why but I think my laziness is a genetic trait. What am I trying to imply here? Never mind. Anyhow, I am trying my best to improve myself from this genetic trait and I think I’m currently doing progress in it. But it all still depends on my mood. So you see, my mood plays a big role in this. My mood and slothfulness sometimes goes hand in hand. Whenever I’m not in my mood, I become lazy and whenever I am feeling lazy, then it means that I’m not in my mood. Just that! Simple.

As of now, I’m really running out of words. I know I haven’t properly described what I am but I hope you get the gist of it. I am not really good at explaining myself especially in limited papers. I will need right time and space for everything. And of course, it will still depend on my mood. But what I am more concern now is about the conclusion. Once I took a path, I sometimes lost my way due to distractions. And this is what I really hate and always try to avoid. I should be walking a straight path but due to beguilement, I sometimes take the long way, with winding path. That’s why I always pray to God to guide me on the Straight Path and to protect me from distractions. So now you see, eh? I talk of something and might end up with different thing. Well, that’s also me. I hope you get what I mean. Finally, they say that your ideas are your best reflectors that’s why through this paper, I hope, someone might understand even a piece of my life.

Raissa T. Guldam
BSMT-1A
10-27-09

The Continuously Growing Seed

2010-06-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

When a seed is planted in a good soil with ample watering for sustenance, it will surely grow and produce fruits. But growth will not stop with the production of fruits. The seed, now a plant will continue to grow proximally and laterally and produce more fruits until it produces seeds from its fruits and propagate more. The growth of the plant is continuous. This is the growth of Zamboanga A.E. Colleges, now Universidad de Zamboanga (UZ).

Sixty-one years ago, a young man from Marikina came to Zamboanga City and dreamed of a school that provides affordable education for the underprivileged. He wanted a school that would exemplify the ideals and aspirations of the youth, live up to the expectations of the people of a school for everybody, regardless of social standing, religion and political affiliations, and the one that imparts a higher level of understanding to its students, inculcate ideals which will enable them to be successful in their professional and personal endeavour later on in life. Because of this dream, Engineer Arturo Francisco Eustaquio Sr. founded Zamboanga Arturo Eustaquio Colleges (ZAEC) on October 12, 1948.

Engineer Eustaquio Sr., more known as “The Founder”, wanted his school to cater the educational need of everyone. That is why from The Founder to the present Chief Executive Officer (CEO), he passed the legacy “education for all”. And along with this legacy, Zamboanga A.E. Colleges started in the strategy of “study-now-pay-later” which made Zamboanga A.E. Colleges known as the school for everyone.

For the past sixty-one years, Zamboanga A.E. Colleges now Universidad de Zamboanga was able to produced thousands of graduates who now have their own livelihoods and works, outstanding positions in big companies, and high-paid jobs here and in abroad. Known political figures who are alumni of Zamboanga A.E. Colleges are Mayor Celso Lobregat and the late former Mayor Vitaliano Agan. They are the alumni who surely had contributed to the advancement and improvement of the society in terms of education, agriculture, medicine, engineering, technology, criminology and commerce. These people are the proofs of the quality education which Zamboanga A.E. Colleges provides.

Through the management of the present CEO, his son, Dr. Arturo F. Eustaquio III, not only just Zamboanga A.E. Colleges became Universidad de Zamboanga but there were still more achievements. Universidad de Zamboanga has now eight campuses namely the Main Campus in Tetuan, the City Campus located in the city proper, the Cabatangan Campus, the Pasonanca Campus, the Veterans Avenue Campus, the UZ Community Medical Center in San Jose Road, the Canelar Campus and the Ipil Campus in the municipality of Ipil. Also, the construction of the Summit Centre was made possible.

Universidad de Zamboanga has also the title of the first internet provider in the whole region and the leading Information Technology Education Provider. Not only had that Universidad de Zamboanga produced board topnotchers but had already set the trend. Most graduates of Universidad de Zamboanga not only passed the board exam but made it to the top especially in the School Allied Medicine (SAM).

In continuing The Founder’s legacy of “education for all”, Universidad de Zamboanga has many offered scholarships for deserving students and still has the lowest tuition fee compared to the other private institution in the city. This is to prove the school’s commitment of providing quality education for everyone even in a not-so-expensive way.

Universidad de Zamboanga has improved many lives through academic excellence by providing quality education for all. We still and will always say that Universidad de Zamboanga is still the best school in town!

Amazing Race ‘09

2010-06-07T01:14:00.000-07:00

As part of the 7th year anniversary of the School of Allied Medicine (SAM), an amazing race was conducted last September 5, 2009 at the UZ Main Campus. The race had two categories, first category for the students of SAM and the second category for the faculty of SAM. The first category was composed of five groups, from five different departments (Nursing, MedTech, RadTech, Respi and Pharma) with six members each. Unfortunately, there were no participants from the RadTech Department which led to two groups from Pharmacy Department since they have extra players and which we differentiated as the Old group and the Young group. The second category was also composed of five groups (Nursing Faculty, MedTech Faculty, Respi Faculty, Pharma Faculty together with RadTech Faculty and SSC Officers).

As the race begun, the participants excitingly hustled around the campus searching for each station of the ten stations according to the clues given to them and to accomplish each tasked before the time runs out. At the end of the race, winners were declared according to their recorded time and scores. For the first category, the MedTech group bagged the first place followed by the Nursing group as the second placer, then the Pharma Young group, the Respi group and the Pharma Old group as third, fourth and fifth placer, respectively. For the second category, the Nursing Faculty emerged as the first placer succeeded by the Respi Faculty, and then the MedTech Faculty, the SSC Officers and the combined Pharma and RadTech Faculty as third, fourth and fifth placer, respectively.

Making The Most Of The Blessed Days Of Dhul-Hijjah and its Virtues - Must Read!

2009-11-16T04:33:00.000-08:00

As-salaamu alaykum wa’rahmatullahi wa’barakatuh

Dhul-Hijjah is less than 2 days away, let us spend the remaining days to plan our ibadaah for these blessed days that are about to approach us.

Inshaa Allah, November 18 ( Next Wednesday ) will be the first day of the Hijri month of “Dhul Hijjah”

Virtues of the Ten Days of Dhul Hijjah

The first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah:

Days of virtue and righteous deeds

Praise be to Allaah Who has created Time and has made some times better than others, some months and days and nights better than others, when rewards are multiplied many times, as a mercy towards His slaves. This encourages them to do more righteous deeds and makes them more eager to worship Him, so that the Muslim renews his efforts to gain a greater share of reward, prepare himself for death and supply himself in readiness for the Day of Judgement.

This season of worship brings many benefits, such as the opportunity to correct one’s faults and make up for any shortcomings or anything that one might have missed. Every one of these special occasions involves some kind of worship through which the slaves may draw closer to Allaah, and some kind of blessing though which Allaah bestows His favour and mercy upon whomsoever He will. The happy person is the one who makes the most of these special months, days and hours and draws nearer to his Lord during these times through acts of worship; he will most likely be touched by the blessing of Allaah and will feel the joy of knowing that he is safe from the flames of Hell. (Ibn Rajab, al-Lataa’if, p.8)

The Muslim must understand the value of his life, increase his worship of Allaah and persist in doing good deeds until the moment of death. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty." [al-Hijr 15:99] The mufassireen (commentators) said: "‘The certainty’ means death."

Among the special seasons of worship are the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah, which Allaah has preferred over all the other days of the year. Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allaah than these ten days." The people asked, "Not even jihaad for the sake of Allaah?" He said, "Not even jihaad for the sake of Allaah, except in the case of a man who went out to fight giving himself and his wealth up for the cause, and came back with nothing." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2/457).

Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) also reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no deed more precious in the sight of Allaah, nor greater in reward, than a good deed done during the ten days of Sacrifice." He was asked, "Not even jihaad for the sake of Allaah?" He said, "Not even jihaad for the sake of Allaah, except in the case of a man who went out to fight giving himself and his wealth up for the cause, and came back with nothing." (Reported by al-Daarimi, 1/357; its isnaad is hasan as stated in al-Irwaa’, 3/398).

These texts and others indicate that these ten days are better than all the other days of the year, with no exceptions, not even the last ten days of Ramadaan. But the last ten nights of Ramadaan are better, because they include Laylat al-Qadr ("the Night of Power"), which is better than a thousand months. Thus the various reports may be reconciled. (See Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 5/412).

You should know, my brothers in Islaam, that the virtue of these ten days is based on many things:

Allaah swears an oath by them, and swearing an oath by something is indicative of its importance and great benefit. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "By the dawn; by the ten nights" [al-Fajr 89:1-2]. Ibn ‘Abbaas, Ibn al-Zubayr, Mujaahid and others of the earlier and later generations said that this refers to the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah. Ibn Katheer said: "This is the correct opinion." (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 8/413)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) testified that these are the best days of this world, as we have already quoted above from Saheeh ahaadeeth.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged people to do righteous deeds because of the virtue of this season for people throughout the world, and also because of the virtue of the place - for the Hujjaaj (pilgrims) to the Sacred House of Allaah.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to recite a lot of Tasbeeh ("Subhan-Allaah"), Tahmeed ("Al-hamdu Lillaah") and Takbeer ("Allaahu akbar") during this time. ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There are no days greater in the sight of Allaah and in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Him than these ten days, so during this time recite a great deal of Tahleel ("La ilaaha ill-Allaah"), Takbeer and Tahmeed." (Reported by Ahmad, 7/224; Ahmad Shaakir stated that it is saheeh).

These ten days include Yawm ‘Arafaah (the Day of ‘Arafaah), on which Allaah perfected His Religion. Fasting on this day will expiate for the sins of two years. These days also include Yawm al-Nahar (the Day of Sacrifice), the greatest day of the entire year and the greatest day of Hajj, which combines acts of worship in a way unlike any other day.

These ten days include the days of sacrifice and of Hajj.

Question: What must the Muslim avoid during these ten days if he wants to offer a sacrifice?

# The Sunnah indicates that the one who wants to offer a sacrifice must stop cutting his hair and nails and removing anything from his skin, from the beginning of the ten days until after he has offered his sacrifice, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When you see the new moon of Dhu’l-Hijjah, if any one of you wants to offer a sacrifice, then he should stop cutting his hair and nails until he has offered his sacrifice." According to another report he said: "He should not remove (literally, touch) anything from his hair or skin." (reported by Muslim with four isnaads, 13/146)

# The Prophet’s instruction here makes one thing obligatory and his prohibition makes another haraam, according to the soundest opinion, because these commands and prohibitions are unconditional and unavoidable. However, if a person does any of these things deliberately, he must seek Allaah’s forgiveness but is not required to offer (an extra) sacrifice in expiation; his sacrifice will be acceptable. Whoever needs to remove some hair, nails, etc. because it is harming him, such as having a broken nail or a wound in a site where there is hair, should do so, and there is nothing wrong with that. The state of ihraam is so important that it is permitted to cut one’s hair if leaving it will cause harm. There is nothing wrong with men or women washing their heads during the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only forbade cutting the hair, not washing it.

# The wisdom behind this prohibition of the one who wants to offer a sacrifice from cutting his hair etc., is so that he may resemble those in ihraam in some aspects of the rituals performed, and so that he may draw closer to Allaah by offering the sacrifice. So he leaves his hair and nails alone until the time when he has offered his sacrifice, in the hope that Allaah will save him in his entirety from the Fire. And Allaah knows best.

# If a person has cut his hair or nails during the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah because he was not planning to offer a sacrifice, then he decides later, during the ten days, to offer a sacrifice, then he must refrain from cutting his hair and nails from the moment he makes this decision.

# Some women may delegate their brothers or sons to make the sacrifice on their behalf, then cut their hair during these ten days. This is not correct, because the ruling applies to the one who is offering the sacrifice, whether or not he (or she) delegates someone else to carry out the actual deed. The prohibition does not apply to the person delegated, only to the person who is making the sacrifice, as is indicated in the hadeeth. The person who is sacrificing on behalf of someone else, for whatever reason, does not have to adhere to this prohibition.

# This prohibition appears to apply only to the one who is offering the sacrifice, not to his wife and children, unless any of them is offering a sacrifice in his or her own right, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to sacrifice "on behalf of the family of Muhammad," but there are no reports that say he forbade them to cut their hair or nails at that time.

# If a person was planning to offer a sacrifice, then he decides to go and perform Hajj, he should not cut his hair or nails if he wants to enter ihraam, because the Sunnah is only to cut hair and nails when necessary. But if he is performing Tamattu’ [whereby he performs ‘Umrah, comes out of ihraam and enters ihraam anew for Hajj], he should trim his hair at the end of his ‘Umrah because this is part of the ritual.

# The things that are described above as being prohibited for the person who is planning to offer a sacrifice are reported in the hadeeth quoted above; the person is not forbidden to wear perfume, have marital relations, wear sewn garments, etc.

Concerning the types of worship to be performed during these ten days: one must understand that these days are a great blessing from Allaah to His slave, which is appreciated properly by the actively righteous. It is the Muslim’s duty to appreciate this blessing and make the most of the opportunity, by devoting these ten days to paying more attention to striving hard in worship. Among His blessings to His slaves, Allaah has given us many ways in which to do good and worship Him, so that the Muslim may be constantly active and consistent in his worship of his Lord.

Among the good deeds which the Muslim should strive to do during the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah are:

1) Fasting:

It is Sunnah to fast on the ninth day of Dhu’l-Hijjah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged us to do good deeds during this time, and fasting is one of the best of deeds. Allaah has chosen fasting for Himself, as is stated in the hadeeth qudsi: "Allaah says: ‘All the deeds of the son of Adam are for him, except for fasting, which is for Me and I am the One Who will reward him for it.’" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 1805).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to fast on the ninth of Dhu’l-Hijjah. Hunaydah ibn Khaalid reported from his wife that some of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to fast on the ninth of Dhu’l-Hijjah, on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, on three days of each month, and on the first two Mondays and Thursdays of each month." (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 4/205 and by Abu Dawud; classified by al-Albaani as saheeh in Saheeh Abi Dawud, 2/462).

2) Reciting Tahmeed, Tahleel and Takbeer a great deal:

It is Sunnah to say Takbeer ("Allaahu akbar"), Tahmeed ("Al-hamdu Lillaah"), Tahleel ("La ilaha ill-Allaah") and Tasbeeh("Subhaan Allaah") during the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah, and to say it loudly in the mosque, the home, the street and every place where it is permitted to remember Allaah and mention His name out loud, as an act of worship and as a proclamation of the greatness of Allaah, may He be exalted.

Men should recite these phrases out loud, and women should recite them quietly.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"That they might witness things that are of benefit to them (i.e., reward of Hajj in the Hereafter, and also some worldly gain from trade, etc.), and mention the name of Allaah on appointed days, over the beast of cattle that He has provided for them (for sacrifice)..." [al-Hajj 22:28]

The majority of scholars agree that the "appointed days" are the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah, because of the words of Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father): "The ‘appointed days’ are the first ten days (of Dhu’l-Hijjah)."

The Takbeer may include the words "Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar, la ilaaha ill-Allaah; wa Allaahu akbar wa Lillaahi’l-hamd (Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great, there is no god but Allaah; Allaah is Most Great and to Allaah be praise)," as well as other phrases.

Takbeer at this time is an aspect of the Sunnah that has been forgotten, especially during the early part of this period, so much so that one hardly ever hears Takbeer, except from a few people. This Takbeer should be pronounced loudly, in order to revive the Sunnah and as a reminder to the negligent. There is sound evidence that Ibn ‘Umar and Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with them) used to go out in the marketplace during the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah, reciting Takbeer, and the people would recite Takbeer when they heard them. The idea behind reminding the people to recite Takbeer is that each one should recite it individually, not in unison, as there is no basis in Sharee’ah for doing this.

Reviving aspects of the Sunnah that have been virtually forgotten is a deed that will bring an immense reward, as is indicated by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "Whoever revives an aspect of my Sunnah that is forgotten after my death, he will have a reward equivalent to that of the people who follow him, without it detracting in the least from their reward." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 7/443; this is a hasan hadeeth because of corroborating asaaneed).

3) Performing Hajj and ‘Umrah.

One of the best deeds that one can do during these ten days is to perform Hajj to the Sacred House of Allaah. The one whom Allaah helps to go on Hajj to His House and to perform all the rituals properly is included in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):"An accepted Hajj brings no less a reward than Paradise."

Doing more good deeds in general, because good deeds are beloved by Allaah and will bring a great reward from Him. Whoever is not able to go to Hajj should occupy himself at this blessed time by worshipping Allaah, praying (salaat), reading Qur’an, remembering Allaah, making supplication (du’aa’), giving charity, honouring his parents, upholding the ties of kinship, enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil, and other good deeds and acts of worship.

4) Udhiyah (Sacrifice)

One of the good deeds that will bring a person closer to Allaah during these ten days is offering a sacrifice, by choosing a high-quality animal and fattening it, spending money for the sake of Allaah. (more information to follow, in sha Allaah).

5) Sincere Repentance

One of the most important things to do during these ten days is to repent sincerely to Allaah and to give up all kinds of disobedience and sin. Repentance means coming back to Allaah and foregoing all the deeds, open and secret, that He dislikes, out of regret for what has passed, giving it up immediately and being determined never to return to it, but to adhere firmly to the Truth by doing what Allaah loves.
If a Muslim commits a sin, he must hasten to repent at once, without delay, firstly because he does not know when he will die, and secondly because one evil deed leads to another.

Repentance at special times is very important because in most cases people’s thoughts turn towards worship at these times, and they are keen to do good, which leads to them recognizing their sins and feeling regret for the past. Repentance is obligatory at all times, but when the Muslim combines sincere repentance with good deeds during the days of most virtue, this is a sign of success, in sha Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "But as for him who repented, believed and did righteous deeds, then he will be among those who are successful." [al-Qasas 28:67]

The Muslim should make sure that he does not miss any of these important occasion, because time is passing quickly. Let him prepare himself by doing good deeds which will bring him reward when he is most in need of it, for no matter how much reward he earns, he will find it is less than he needs; the time of departure is at hand, the journey is frightening, delusions are widespread, and the road is long, but Allaah is ever watchful, and to Him will we return and render account. As the Qur’aan says (interpretation of the meaning):

"So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom, shall see it,

And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom, shall see it."

[al-Zalzalah 99:7-8]

There is much to be gained, so make the most of the opportunity afforded by these invaluable and irreplaceable ten days. Hasten to do good works, before death strikes, before one can regret one’s negligence and failure to act, before one is asked to return to a place where no prayers will be answered, before death intervenes between the hopeful one and the things he hopes for, before you are trapped with your deeds in the grave.

O you whose hard heart is as dark as the night, is it not time that your heart was filled with light and became soft? Expose yourself to the gentle breeze of your Lord’s mercy during these ten days, for Allaah will cause this breeze to touch whomever He wills, and whoever is touched by it will be happy on the Day of Judgement. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad and all his Family and Companions.

Let us hasten to make the most of these great days, before the negligent regrets what he did, and before he asks to go back and receives no response.

Written by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/notes/i-love-allah/making-the-most-of-the-blessed-days-of-dhul-hijjah-and-its-virtues-must-read/178241657962

Crazy thoughts on Brokenheartedness

2009-04-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

What does it feel to be brokenhearted? Too painful, isn't it?

Now, why on earth am I writing about this. I'm not brokenhearted right now. Just a little anxious and weary.

But what are the different ways of getting a brokenheart?

[A normal person tends to count ways on how to avoid a brokenheart. I knew it! I'm really crazy. I just hope no one will read this blog. This should be called a crazy blog. My other blog served as my personal diary while this one became an outlet of my spontaneous crazy thoughts. Poor person who will spend his/her time reading this. I just can't imagine. Sigh!]

1. How does it feel to love someone who doesn't love you back?

--It's very stressful! I've felt it! Loving someone like this will make you look crazy and martyr in front of your friends. You will also look so desperate especially when you can't find the right reason to defend yourself. This type of love will also measure your patience and determination in such a way that you always but to give up but you can't. It's very crazy to think that I'm in such situation right now. I'm still thinking and going over those advices my brother and friends gave me. And sometimes, they all make sense to the point that I started accepting their point and giving up my inordinate notions. And the most painful thing here is that when your own friends tell you to quit instead of motivating you. They may say they just care but what hurts the most is that they don't understand you. Or maybe you're just bein foolish of the impossible idea that he'll love you back. Crazy, isn't it?

I suggest, you think of this very carefully. Don't just think twice or thrice but think in a million times. You won't know the end of this but you surely have the choice of how to end it. It's either you give up and move on or you will stick and suffer the consequences. Anyhow, you think.

2. How does it feel to be torn?

--There will also be times that you'll get torn by two people. And believe me, it's a very very very crazy time to think. It's like as if your world will go up side down, mooning over which to choose. This guy or this guy. Helpless.

But what I advice you to do is that forget the both of them and move on with your life. It's not worth thinking anyway. And you'll still find more of them. Focus on your studies and have a new hobby. Busy yourself with anything interesting just to forget them. Crazy indeed!

3. He loves you..You like him..Does that jive?

--A crazy situation! He loves you so much but you just like him. How is that possible? Of course it is possible. It's just that both of you weren't in one path. He was on this path and you were on that other path. He took the love path and you took the like path. Then how will you meet? Toinks!

In this situation, better talk to him seriously and say that you only like him. In that way, he won't misunderstood any of your action which will make your relationship better. Agree?

4. Just mutual understanding...

--This is one of the craziest situation ever! You both think you're in love but with no formal agreement. You meet each other, talk to each other, and even wink and blush. Oh no! But you can't be sure if what he's showing you is real or just a playful act. After all, you have no commitment or any formal agreement. You have no right of each other's business even though you have this mutual understanding. But it's just mutual. You share this common things you have and enjoy each other's company. In other words, friends with benefit...

Hmm..What I say is that just go on..But don't let yourself fall into the pit or you might end up in tears. Just go on with the flow but be sure to be within your boundary. And don't forget to watch out!

5. First love never dies...

--It's quite true especially when you come along with this situation. A first love will always be your first. Unforgettable. And can leave a deep scar of memory in you. Your first love will really stay in you. Because it was the first time you fell in love, the first time you cry and the first time you felt the stinging taste of love.

But behold! Don't let your first love stop you from loving again. You still have the second love, the third love and so on. Also, the true love is the most important one. Because it'll be the one. But not necessarily the last. Crazy of me! Haha.

[Sadly, I experienced all of these. Pretty weird for me because I never had a boyfriend but I experienced things that are more than a girl in a relationship should experience. I was even muttering to my classmate (Jessa), that my high school life is incomplete because I never had a boyfriend. But when she heard my love stories, she even exclaimed that mine was more than complete. Whoah!

Honestly, I'm still proud of being a member of the NO BOYFRIEND SINCE BIRTH SOCIETY. (wink!) And I'm very determined to keep it that way. To be single till the day I get married. Of course, to the man I that I will love in the future. Hopefully there's someone out there for me. But I don't fret. I still have many things to think about now.]

Hahaha..I wrote something longer today! An achievementt for me! I have overcome my laziness! =)

STUPIDITY

2009-04-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

Issh!!..How can I be so stupid?!
My brother's right. I'm so stupid.
Still the careless stupid girl of 4 years ago.

Ughh! I hate this! How can I even fool myself?!

I'm really a loser when it comes to situation like this. Good at counseling other people but poor when counseling ones self. I hate it! Issh!

But when can I do? What's done is done. I need to keep up with it. Or shall I burst out? Here I go again. Careless stupid girl!

All I have to do is wait. Yeah. That's it. Be patient. Time will do everything. And believe in fate. It will be fate.

Pray also.

Sad

2009-03-30T07:35:00.000-07:00

2 of the most loved persons in my life hurt me this month.

It hurts a lot.

I tried to cry but no tears would come.

Maybe my tears dried up a long time ago due to multiple pains.

Maybe I'm used to getting hurt.

It's okay.

It will all get better in time.

I hope so.

=((

Torn

2009-03-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

I really don't know what I'm feeling right now. I might have been writing this in the diary but due to sever laziness, I'm doing it in this blog.

Well, what is my problem? Yeah. What's really my problem? Arggh! This TORN THING!!! I'm TORN. But I'm not exactly sure. Eeesshhh..

Arggghh..I don't like to mention this.

Regret

2009-01-24T22:09:00.000-08:00

Lying here all alone in my bed
My instinct immediately started.
Thinking of those days I was with you
Going over it through and through.

I never thought I was that stupid
Thinking that I was hit by the arrow of Cupid.
I have loved you and gave everything you need
But you just caused this heart of mine to bleed.

We were fine from the very start
And thought that we will never be apart.
But something came up and you went away.
Suddent it had been, you left without a say.

My heart is now shattered and broken
And it will be difficult it put the pieces back again.
Regret, that is what I'm feeling now
And hoping for this pain to subside somehow.

Continuation for December

2009-01-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

I forgot to post anything on the month of December. This is because I was busy. Super busy. And just a while ago, a classmate of mine (janiz) admitted that she found my blog and read it. Arrgh! I thought no one will discover my blog. But hell, it's okay. There's no problem with that. I think there's nothing to worry about. =))

December 2008

There were many events last December 2008. These are the lists.

1.) Regional Schools Press Conference (RSPC)2008 in Sindangan, Zambo. del Norte

After winning in the Division Schools Press Conference (DSPC) 2008, me, Jessa, and Cyndie moved on to the Regional level. The result of the DSPC is below:

Marie Cyndie Domingo - News Writing English (4th placer)
- Feature Writing English (1st placer)

Raissa Guldam - News Writing Filipino (5th placer)
- Feature Writing Filipino (2nd placer)

Jessa Kristine del Mar - Photojournalism and Layouting (3rd placer)

Coach: Ms. Lovilla Dalog

In going to Sindangan, Ms. Romelita Dioleste accompanied us because Ms. Dalog is pregnant and can't travel.

We rode a bus at around 1am of December 15, 2008 in the Guiwan Terminal and arrived in Sindangan at 7am. I didn't get much sleep because it's not comfortable to sleep in the bus.

When we reached Sindangan, we went to Jessa's relative's house in San Miguel. We rest a bit and after that, we strolled our butts on the small community.

On the beach in Sindangan.

In the competition held in Sindangan National Agricultural School.

In the playground in Sindangan's plaza.

Me in Pitogo beach.

In Pitogo beach. One of our "pasaway" moments in Sindangan.

Jessa and Mam Diolz.

Me and Cyndie.

The RSPC lasted for 3 days. From December 16-18, 2008. Jessa was the only one who won and qualify for the National Schools Press Conference 2009 which will be held at Naga City. She won 2nd place in same category.

(But it was not nice for me coz my cp malfunctioned. It's camera is not functioning well. That's why I have it fixed in the shop. :(()

Also, we rode again a bus when we went home. My seatmates in the bus were guys from Arena Blanco National High School. I forgot to get their names but they were nice to me. I was even an "FC" asking one of them "Kuya, pwede pasandig sa shoulder mo?". Haha. I was really "kapal muks". ANyway, I had my pillow with me. I will not lean on his bare shoulders noh! Kapal!

:))

2.) AEMSHS Christmas Party 2008

Our party was held at the Universidad de Zamboanga (UZ) Entrepreneurial Building last December 19, 2008.

Me and my classmates at the party. (I'm in yellow!)

3.) Christmas Vacation

I haven't used my cp that much that's why I have no pictures. (sad me).

Well, during vacation, I just read and read and read. And sleep and sleep and sleep.
I also bought a set of Twilight books worth 4500php (because it's hardbound).

I spent the last week of my vacation in my cousin's house. We were there for 5 days, attending lectures regarding Islam and Prayers. It was really a fruitful week. I've learned my prayers and learned more about Islam. It's very refreshing as if I've felt a sudden calmness in me. Can't describe it more coz I really don't know how to express my feelings.

Then..it's New Year!

Another day

2008-11-30T15:43:00.000-08:00

Hmm...Yesterday, November 30, 2008....I can call it a day!

Me and my former classmates in elementary met and did some hang-out! It was really fun.

A few schoolmates came too.

We had that meeting for the purpose of deciding where should we held or reunion and the date also. We finally decided that we will have it at Ebenezer Beach, on Decemeber 21, 2008.

After the meeting, I took some pics of them and can be found in friendster.

Then after the meeting, me and some close friends went to the mall to have some fun. Along with me were Faiza, Elaine-jay, Radzmin, Bob and Jayson. We went to WOF (World of Fun) and decided to sing. Hmm...Jayson was a great singer!I enjoyed it alot though I was the one who paid for the tokens. Anyway, it's fine.

One thing I realized yesterday, whenever I am with my former classmates in elementary, I should go down low. It's because their behaviour and lifestyle is different from my current classmate which is the Batch 2k9. Whenever I am with my former classmate, I should be hmm..frugal..Coz they are very frugal..

hmm..Anyway, it was a good day~

It was really a "DAY"

2008-11-29T05:52:00.000-08:00

November 29, 2008

First thing, we set up this date for us (me and my classmates) to watch the movie "Twilight". Then when we were at the mall already, Kathreena decided to cancel it since we were already late for the 2nd showing. And we blame the guys for the tardiness.

It did upset me but a sudden hope came when someone suggested that we can watch the third show at 5:30pm. Some classmates doubt it since the end of that third showing will be around 7:30 pm and that's pretty late for them. But in the end, we pursued our desire.

The movie was good. But not satisfying. I wonder why. Hmm.. Maybe because I was expecting much from it since it is one of the most anticipated and most-awaited movie.

Anyways, as we took our way in going home, some street girl was pulling the plastic I was carrying. She was asking for it or maybe if we can give even 2php to her. I thought of it as a very impolite pursuit. She was very demanding. And most of all, she was touching us. Not that I think of them as dirty, but it's very unlikely to feel some stranger's hand in your arms. Then because of the girl's pursuasion, I called out to Zain to ask some help in getting rid of that girl. But it seems that he went away and looking scared too. I was flabbergasted by his cowardice. He really is a coward! No denying. Good thing, Jash was there. It was an unexpected thing for someone like him whom I consider as a GAY. He protected us by hindering the path of the girl saying "NO MONEY". He also put his arm around me for protection. I really appreciated and admired his act. Though, I hadn't thanked him formally, but deep inside, I'm very grateful.

On my way home, I rode a van. About 200 meters from the parking lot, the van suddenly stopped. I wasn't aware why it stopped but the passengers around me started screaming and making their way out of it.I thought there was some kind of checkpoint or some raid or ambush. Then I started to panick also. Then I got up and made my way out also and while doing this, I saw some smoke coming out of the driver's seat. Then many thoughts provoked me. What if it was a bomb? I was scared at that moment. Really scared. I was even asking myself if that was my last moment. I was even asking Allah if my life will end at that moment. TERRIFYING.

When we were out of the vehicle, the driver said that it was just smoke coming out due to some grounded battery. Then he urged us to ride again but many passengers won't ride because of fear. But made my way back because I really need to get home. It was around 8pm already.

Now, I finally reached home. And there's no place like home. The safest place.

Hate

2008-11-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

One of traits I hate in myself is being LAZY!!!

I hate it! So much!

I don't know why but this LAZINESS hinders me in almost everything. Just like in writing my thoughts, I really love to write everything down. But when time comes and this LAZINESS attacks me..then you already know the result.

sigh..

How can I cast this negative attitude? Arrrgghhh...I'm starting to dislike myself...

I miss him so much!

2008-11-12T01:52:00.001-08:00

Miss you
Everyday and every night, this feeling I'd fight
Try as I might but I wont win, I surrender, I'd die
You are winning here alright
Every morning when the sun would shine on me
Id flash a smile but deep inside
I feel so sad and lonely
I need you here and now
I miss you
Its crazy to pretend that I don't think of you
The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow
I miss you
Oh how much longer can I hold on to
Maybe you can come and tell me that you miss me too
Miss you
All I want is for this love to last forever
You walked away, never came back, oh I tried to recover
I can't bear it boy alright
When I hear a song that we had used to share
Ill try as I might to hide the tears, and when the pain is over
Ill wish that you are near
I miss you
Its crazy to pretend that I don't think of you
The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow
I miss you
Oh how much longer can I hold on to
Maybe you can come and tell me that you miss me too
Miss you

(A song by MYMP which I love to sing whenever I miss him! You know who you are)

"UNCOMFORTABLE"

2008-10-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

The last few days was a disaster! There were many things that happened to us in our class. Not only in our class but deep within our close bonds.

Lately, my classmates were teasing me. It was not a childish thing but something which pierce through my heart. Well, I'm not the kind who get affected easily but those words went deep down my veins. I don't know why. But, it made me think of something else.

I really don't know what I should tell in this thing. I just feel like typing what I want to say. Though, expressing what I feel right now is better when I talk than typing. I don't know whom to talk about this. I have my bestfriends but I can't talk to them about this coz they might misunderstand my point and might take sides also.

Some things are just meant to be like this. Maybe this was already written in my book of fate. I don't know.

Anyways, I feel terribly sad coz some of my classmates have a great misunderstanding because of this research this. I hate to see them like that. Especially when their Moms are involved. It breaks my heart alot. And they are all my close friends. Though I want to take side, but I can't. Coz I don't like to hurt any of them.

Arrgghhhhh...

I'm so damn tired!

The Global Financial Crisis

2008-10-20T04:59:00.001-07:00

The global financial crisis has really started to show its effects in the middle of this year. Around the world, stock markets have fallen, large financial institutions have collapsed or been bought out, and governments and even the wealthiest nations have had to come up with rescue packages to bail out their financial systems. Because of these effects, not just the wealthy will suffer, but potentially everyone.

Due to these happenings in the West, countries in Asia are increasingly worried. For the developing world, the rise in the cost of food, high fuel prices, and the soaring commodity prices are having a compounding effect.

According to some articles, perhaps ironically, African countries will not be affected from the crisis, at least not initially. This is because of Africa’s generally weak integration with the rest of the global economic system. The wealthier ones, who do have some exposure to the rest of the world, however, may face some problems.

As for the Latin America, much of its trade depends with United States. As a result, Latin America will also feel the effect of US financial crisis and a slower growth in Latin America is expected.

Many Asian countries, including Philippines, have seen their stock markets suffer and currency values going down. In addition, there is increased foreign investment from West in Asia. Asian products and services are also global, and a slowdown in wealthy countries means increased chances of a slowdown in Asia and the risk of job losses.

Since Philippines is also attached to US, then it is expected that the financial meltdown will have a great impact in the Philippine economy. Current increases in the prices of oil and food products worsened by the adverse impact of the US meltdown will likely increase the number of poor several times in the coming years. Due to the problems in the West, several OFW’s need to go back to the country to look for job again, becoming jobless. Also, because most investors are from the West, there’ll be lesser investments or maybe decrease that will cause some people to be jobless; thus, there’ll be higher rate of unemployment. In the end, the rich will be blown off while the poor will be the poorest.

"Thunder"

2008-10-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know (I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
And bring on the thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

This is an alternative song by the international band Boys Like Girls. I really love the message of this song!!! This is for you!

If I Keep My Heart Out Of Sight

2008-10-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

If I keep on talking now
I'll only start repeating myself
And all I can say is
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

If I slip and tip my hand
I'm certain to scare you away
Then what would I say
I'd be hurting I'm certain
I'd be uncool to let you know that you're the one
The fool who jumped the gun

'cause I've been advised by other guys
You've left behind
Your goodbyes are somewhat unrefined
But if I play my role just right
Tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If I present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If I keep my heart out of sight

If I play my role just right
Then tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If I present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Oh, shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If I keep my heart out of sight

This is a song by James Taylor. I always listen to this song coz I can imagine myself in this song. It might look like I'm the desperate one. Well, it's true. I'm in love. And I do love him. =))

Letters

2008-09-27T06:40:00.000-07:00

[This is Ahmad's first letter to me.]

"Shall I?" A Soliloquy

2008-09-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

[This soliloquy was an assignment in our Literature class. This was based from a real experience though some part was fictitious.]

“Shall I?”

I think this is the worst pandemonium that I ever had! Though it’s normal for a teenage girl like me to have this kind of confusion, but I still rate this as the worst of all. This can’t be solved by any systematic equation nor can’t be figured out by using any mathematical formula. This is not just an ordinary analytical and logical thinking but something inner and deeper. I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone will say that I’m stupid and crazy. This is really a different thing.

Well, I have known this guy for just five months but it seems like we know each other for years. We started as good friends and turned out to be best friends. He is years older than me but he sounds like we are of the same age. I remember that we always try to see each other as often as we could and spend most of our time with each other. Unconsciously, we grew fond of each other and started to have this special feeling. We grew closer and closer, and as time went by, we fell for each other.

He became my inspiration for three unforgettable months. He always encouraged me to do my best and to motivate me in everything. He supported me and made me feel that there he always there for me. I really felt secured whenever I’m with him and he would always say that he will do his best to protect me. With all these comforting and loving words, I felt the sincerity of his love for me.

But the truth is that we have no commitment. We say sweet and caring words to each other but I don’t remember that we really had a formal commitment. I might be regarded as a mean person but having no commitment in this affair made me feel safe. It may sound very weird but at least I’m being honest with my feelings.

Then there was this time when I haven’t seen him for almost a week. I was really worried about him because it’s not a usual thing. He didn’t leave any message or note. Weeks passed but there was no sound or news about him. He just disappeared. Then I started wandering what might have happened to him. I started imagining things and thinking of logical reasons for his disappearance. And weeks became months. I hopefully and patiently waited for any news but all in vain. I think I need to give up now.

When the time came that I finally decided to give up my hopes, something happened. I met another guy who is as old as me. Well, from the start, I gave no notice of him because he was just a friend. Then later on, I discovered that he is intelligent, religious and a bookworm. He also has admirable traits and estimable characters. Despite the memory of a former love, these assets let me concluded that he is my ideal man. But, alas, there’s no way of having him. He’s not the type who will love someone like me. So, I hid from him my true feelings.

As time went by, we came to know each other better and deeper. We became good friends, and more like best friends. We share our problems and secrets and joys and sorrows. He is truly a kind man and understanding man. How I wish to tell him that I love him but I don’t have the braveness because I am afraid that I might lose his friendship if he rejected me. Then his birthday came and I gather all my courage to confess my feelings for him. Hearing my words, he just shrugged and said that he doesn’t know what to say because no one had confessed to him like this before. So I just gave him a smile and told him that it’s okay. And I’m even more thankful because the manner of our chat didn’t change. That even if he rejected me, I still have his friendship.

Weeks passed and we still enjoyed the same old company. We talked as if we were the closest being in the world. We still share the same secrets and much more experiences. I really feel happy whenever I’m with him.

Then one day, as I opened my mail account, I got a mail from him. As I read the letter, I was flabbergasted. He finally confessed that he also like me but he‘s too shy to say. I never thought that he’ll say these words. I immediately called and asked him if he was serious about his message and he said yes. He also apologized because he thought he caused sadness to me at the time when I confessed to him. I don’t know what to say. I like to scream and scream but no voice came out from my throat. I can just smile. But I know that that smile of mine is not just on lips but also in my heart.

But my smile didn’t take so long to fade. News came that my former love came back. What?! I felt my heart sunk. All I thought he was gone. And worst, he’s hoping me to come back to him! What a dilemma! This is really the worst pandemonium I ever had! How can I tell him that I have another love and that my love for him was gone? How can I tell him this without seeing the pain in his face? I wouldn’t want to hurt him. It will devastate him for sure! And if I’m going to tell him this, he might regard me as a betrayer. And that would hurt me too. What am I going to do? Shall I tell my former love or shall I let go my current love?

By:

Raissa T. Guldam

Someone Unexpected

2008-08-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

This is my great brother. His name is Tahir Kalam, 26, and lives in Karachi, Pakistan. He is an electrical engineer in a company named Wartsila. He's a very nice man, someone whom you can lean on. He's caring, loving, thoughtful and gentleman, and also intelligent! I love my brother!

Day-to-Day Fun!!!

2008-08-08T02:06:00.000-07:00

This is our pic (Cyndie, Kath and me), taken last July 29, 2008. (before Tunog Kalye)...This should be a wacky pic ( as you can see, Cyndie is in her wacky face). But I saw Kath smiled and I smiled too. By the way, the butterflies as just props.

And is this pic, all of us are smiling.:)

This is Kath and Jessa. They look cute! (and someone is behind them...CYndie!)

Kath, Jessa and Crystal!..uhm..what kind of facial expression is this???..

And this is our pic in our yellow so-called "Obese-tic" shirt!...

Me and My Friends

2008-07-19T08:22:00.001-07:00

Me and Love2X.

Me and Kath.

Me and Cyndie.

This is a picture of me and my best friends during our third year in high school. My best friends are Kath, Cyndie and Love2X. They are one of the closes people to me. I love them!

This is me and Claudine. She is a very beautiful classmate who has a talent in dancing and singing. She's so lean like me but taller and a bit reserve. She's very kind and gentle but sometimes, meticulous and judgmental. I love her too!

This is me and Jash during our summer outing 2008 in Woodland, Zamboanga City. Jash is a very talented classmates in terms of singing and dancing. He's very patient and very friendly too. Sometimes, he's stubborn and very close-minded. I love him too!

me...

2008-07-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

I am the only Raissa Tutanes Guldam born on November 1, 1992 in this world.:)

If you want to know more about me, then you can peek at my diary..:P..

And I despise rapists!...bwahahaha....>:)

Who am I?

2008-07-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

(part 2)

What do I feel about myself?

A very unanswerable question for me. Well, of course I can answer it. But not the real answer that I want to say. Instead, I'll just be saying that I'm totally fine. Gosh.

I just hate answering this!

But if I'm going to answer this question, then I'll answer it this way. :)

"I don't like to shed my tears especially in front of my friends and family"

Basically, I'm not that emotional. I don't show my feelings or express my feelings directly. What I mean is that, whenever there are emotional situations, I keep my heart tight and hard. As much as possible, I don't like to shed my tears especially in front of my friends and family. I like crying alone in my room with a pillow as a shock absorber.

In terms of life, I am more matured compared to my peers. Maybe one of the reason for being like this is experience. I think I have more experience than them in terms of problems and survivals that's why I think maturely. Also, since I was a kid, I know what life is. I know the odds and evens, the ups and downs and how to cope up with it. (I'm really a feeler!)

I can't say that I'm contented in life nor can I say that I hate life. Well, maybe moderately contented but as much as possible I do my best to fulfill my dreams and goals in life. I don't care if my classmates and friends have new laptops and other gadgets. All I care is that as long as I'm fine and contented with what I have and as long as I have no major problem, I'll be fine.

(to be continued)

Who am I?

2008-07-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

(part 1)

This was an activity we've done in school in which our teacher gave us questions to guide us in what to write about our self.

What I wrote about myself were purely shallow. I mean, I was not in my mood at that time and I really don't know what to write. That's why I wrote the shallowest information I can think of.

And after a week, which was yesterday, our teacher told us that she'll let us read what we have wrote one by one. Some of my classmates were shocked maybe because they wrote personal informations. And as for me, not guilty. Haha.

"I even envy my classmate because they can express themselves easily in which I can't."

The mood in the classroom was melancholic. All girls and Jash cried, except me and Janiz. Whoah! Hearing all the things they wrote makes my heart melt. But I just can't figure out why tears won't come out of my eyes. Maybe because I'm strong. (Am I? Or just pretending to be?) I don't know. But each time a classmate of mine finish reading, I always ask myself why I can't write such nice composition. I even envy my classmate because they can express themselves easily in which I can't. How sad. Maybe because I am more inclined in intra personal reflection. Also, I don't like writing my thoughts except in my diary. (Excluding this blog!)

sta. cruz island

2008-06-24T10:04:00.001-07:00

This is the view from Sta. Cruz Island (small). All students in our school went here for snorkeling. But due to high tide and current changes, we were not able to see the corals in the right spot. But it's okay because there are still next time!:)

A Poem for You

2008-06-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

This is a present for a friend of mine.

He is Ahmad, but I call him Hussain.

He’ll be sixteen on this June twenty-four,

So I wish him good luck, success and more.

Frankly, I really don’t know what to say

To this young man who lives so far away.

I have known him for a short time only,

So describing him won’t be that easy.

I do believe that first impression last,

And that knowing a person is a must.

You can’t be judgmental in everything

That’s why it’s time for me to say something.

By looking at his pictures in ORKUT,

I find him super cool and a bit cute.

But there is something in him that’s hidden.

He’s quite grim, a bit reserve and even.

Honestly, I find him so amusing,

When it was my first time to chat with him

I can say that he’s tall, dark and handsome,

Kind, friendly, funny, nice, great and awesome.

I think I need to end this poem for now.

Just like in a recital, I need to bow.

A happy sweet sixteenth birthday to you,

My dear friend, I wish happiness for you.

My Ideal Guy

2008-06-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

Infatuation or Love?

2008-06-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

Infatuation is ruled by feelings, but love's feelings are ruled by principle.

Infatuation is blind, but love sees and examines.

Infatuation is in a hurry, but love takes time.

Infatuation is obsessed with externals, but love is concerned with internals.

Infatuation is childish, love is mature.

Infatuation is a human ditch, but love is a divine ladder.

I'm Missing You by Meja

2008-05-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

I miss your love, since
you've been gone
I find it hard to go on
The summer sky don't mean a thing
I thought I'd always be strong
I got a feeling inside
and it's making my heart cry, cause

I'm missing you
and it's making me blue, yeah
I'm missing you
but what can I do
Thousand miles away, from you

So here I am, and everything's new
I should be happy in love]
but all I know, I look deep in my eyes
I've never felt so alone
and this feeling inside
it's making my heart cry, cause

I'm missing you
and it's making me blue, yeah
I'm missing you
but what can I do
Thousand miles away, from you

So what's the meaning of this
to be living like this
it ain't no fun at all
I wonder where are you now
(I wonder where are you now)

I miss your love since you been gone
I find it hard to go on
and this feeling inside
I just break down and cry

This song is dedicated to mon amour! I miss you so much. Where are you now?

My friend...hopefully..more than

2008-05-18T04:59:00.000-07:00

I have chose this day to feature this friend of mine because this day is hie 16th birthday. Happy Birthday to you!

His name is Muhammad Ahmad, of Multan Pakistan. He is also a friend and classmate of Hassan Yaqoob. He is very nice and kind. A shy type I think, coz he doesn't speak much. I like him because he is a bookworm and of course, he wears eye glasses. And this is the reason why I was attracted to him. And when I saw his picture, well, he look nice. He has a some kind of gray color and a hooked nose. My attraction to him grew deeply.

As time passed, we became closer but he always leave me either in msn or ym. I don't know his reason since I don't ask him the next time we chat. BUt I'm fond of him since we share the same interest and some things. He likes to read Harry Potter and novels of Agatha Christie. He is a simple type of guy and a very reserve one just like Hassan.

A while ago, I have sent him birthday cards and said it was great. I have said I love you to him there in urdu which is may tum say pyar karti hoon. He asked me if where did I learn the sentence and said that I just asked someone to translate it for me. Then he asked me if I am serious. I asked "serious about what?". He reiterated if I was serious with the urdu sentence. I said of course. Then, if you were just with me you will see the terror in my face while waiting for his answer. Well, I'm really afraid that he might say some negative thing and end our friendship. Good thing he said that he doesn't know what to say since he had never been in that situation before. I ask, what situation? He answered, the situation in which someone will say I love you. Ahh. I get it.Hehehe..He is so innocent. I just laughed out of it!But I just made fun of it! Well, the topic just dissapeared.

Now, I don't know if I can sleep.

2008-05-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

Never take for granted the person who truly LOVE and care for you. Remember, feelings just like people grow tired too when it's not appreciated no matter how great you thought LOVE is.

If someone LOVES you, LOVE him/ her back. Not only because they LOVE you but also because they are teaching you to LOVE and opening your heart and eyes to the things you have never seen of felt.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to LOVE someone but a lifetime to forget someone you have learned to love.

It hurts to see someone you LOVE ignore you. It also hurts to see if he doesn't feel your love, but would it hurt you more if he LOVED you and you never knew?

We never knew how much one LOVES until we know how much he is willing to endure and suffer for you; and it is the suffering elements that measure LOVE.

It is better to meet the person who will truly LOVE you later, than meet someone now who promises to LOVE you but sooner or later will leave you forever.

Never say I LOVE you if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they are not really there. Never quite touch a life if you mean to break a heart.

Never welcome something you can't even entertain. Never open doors if you mean to close your heart. Never accept LOVE if you can't give yourself in return. Never start a relationship you know you want to end.

Saying sweet words are not enough to prove your LOVE. LOVING someone needs sacrifices, like giving your time and attention, and being sensitive to their feelings.

It hurts when we risk our heart and it ends up getting broken. What hurts even more is when we still hold on when we already knew that we're waiting for nothing.

My good friends and Hassan Yaqoob

2008-05-17T06:20:00.001-07:00

I have these net friends from Pakistan!..Well..all of them are related coz they are all in the same school for boys. I can say that they are kind and are very different from the guys here in the Philippines. Well, maybe since they are in a school for boys, they have this mutual affection for their friends in which I can't find in the teenager guys here. And I really really admire the kind of friendship they share and how their bonding goes.

Honestly, they also have similarities. Most of them wear or used eye glasses. Not for vanity and fashion but they use them because of weak eyesight. Is it just a coincidence or genetics? Well, I don't know the answer. But all of them including my first friend, Hassan Yaqoob.

Hassan Yaqoob was my first Pakistani friend which is of the same age. But he's a year older than me. I met him in mIRC and became a regular chatmate in YM. I met him last December 2007. After how many weeks, we became a bit close and started nice conversation with him and a little about my life. One thing I can't forget was last New Year's eve, December 31, 2007-January 1, 2008, while chatting with him in my dad's laptop, he showed me his picture.
Gosh. I was attracted. Really. Maybe because he wear eye glasses and because his dark eyes were really attractive. I don't know why, but I think it's really the eyes. And because of that, he became my crush and I admit I'm deeply attracted. I have joined ORKUT because of him. Well, I'm thankful too coz I met his other classmates. Then he send me this poem through scrapbook and I was touched coz it's my first time to receive a poem from a guy. That's why I created also a poem for him. Specially dedicated to him. By the way, the poem he gave me was not an original one. I think he just got it from a site. But honestly, as I gave him or send him the poem, well, everything was lost. My feelings and everything.

Super Cool!

2008-05-17T06:20:00.000-07:00

Batch 2k9 of AEMSHS

2008-05-02T23:33:00.000-07:00

These are my classmates. We are only 14 in our junior year.:)

My poems:)

2008-05-02T22:54:00.000-07:00

My poems that I have posted here are all originals.

The first poem entitled "My Only Love" is a poem dedicated to a special friend who lives in Tunisia. He was a friend who I met in net, specifically in mIRC. Then, we exchanged our YM address, and started chatting in YM. After sometime, well, I don't know how did it happen but we just came to know that we love each other. Even I myself can't fathom how did it happen. Really. But I don't regret this, instead I'm grateful for it. He was a sorrowful and sad man before, but as time pass by, he became cheerful and funny. Maybe that's the reason why I got closer to him. Hmmm...other info follows...maybe in the future..hehehe...

Well, the second poem is only the french version of the poem. I've decided to translate it in french since my special friend knows french. Besides, we also have basic french lesson in our school. This is the reason why I have admired french.

The third poem, with a title "Again", was dedicated to a guy classmate way back in kindergarten. I saw him in a camp which our school facilitated, and well, I was just overwhelmed to see him again that's why I wrote the poem. It was just a poem I wrote while talking to my friends that's why it is short.

The fourth poem is obviously dedicated to a friend. Well, originally, I wrote this for a guy friend from Pakistan named Hassan, because of admiration. I wrote this during class hours in school while thinking of him. Also, I have decided to write a poem for him because he was the one who gave me a poem, though it was not originally written by him. Then I was in euphoria! It's my first time to receive a poem, and given by a guy. I was really happy when I finished the poem. I immediately send it to him in orkut. By the way, he was also the one who invited me to join orkut(just like fs). But, after sending it to him, well, the result was not good. We barely chat in ym and he was not like the person I know. Then, there was no communication between us for months, til now. I still wonder why. But, because of him, I met some of his pals, including Mohammad Ahmad, to whom I dedicate this fourth poem. He was a classmate and a friend of Hassan. He is a bookworm, just like me. And there are lots of interest that we share that's why we get along well. He's really a good friend:).

Sorry, I can't post all specific details. I'm not really good in it.

To My Dearest Friend

2008-05-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

In the midst of the night

Here I am, sitting tight

All the way thinking of you

Which make me feel so blue.

I know you're so far

Thousands of miles away from me

But still, I can feel you here

In my heart, you are so dear.

Ahmad, a dear friend of mine.

You make me smile in sad times.

Everytime, I hope and earnestly pray

That you'll be there for me, everyday.

Like a light-blue sky in the mid-day

You make me feel happy and gay.

Like a butterfly in a fresh bud

You cheer me up when I'm sad.

As the wind in the hot dessert blew

Our friendship continuously grew.

And as a felt the zephyr on my face

I knew, you are of heaven's grace.

And to you, Ahmad, my friend

The most reserved man I have ever knew

Inspired by our growing and sweet friendship

I endearly dedicate this poem to you.:)

Again

2008-04-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

Hello there again!
Nice meeting you.
Hope your fine.
Well, I'm fine too.

Isn't it nice?
Reminiscin' our past?
Welcoming each other
With arms wide open.

Cheer up, my friend.
Smile and laugh with me.
Let's talk and chat
Until we get tired.

Now, I don't know what to say.
You take my breath away.
Now I think it's the end.
Hello love, goodbye friend.

Mon Seul L'amour

2008-04-08T05:50:00.000-07:00

L'amour est tres difficile a comprendre
Vous povez lui donner n'importe quelle defenition
Vous pouvez dire n'importe quoi de lui
Et c'est jusqu'a vous a croyez-le si vous voulez.

Du debut meme du jour
J'ai su que je vous ai aime
Et je veux risquer mon coeur
N'importe quoi, je wil fait pour vous.

Avec l'amour, j'ai senti l'extase
Le bonheur d'aimes vous
Et la sensation d'est aime
Par quelqu'un que vous pouvez vous pencher sur a.

C'est ma premiere fois pour essayer
Pour ouvrir mon coeur a quelqu'un d'autre
Qui je m'etais fie beaucoup
Et a que j'ai donne mon coeur a.

L'amour de ma vie est doux
Le soin, attentionne et le gentilhomme en effet
Mon amour a la qualite que j'adore beaucoup
A tout humain, il est lapogee l'un.

Chaque mot dans ce poeme
Je vous dedie , mon bien-aime
A vous, l'homme de ma vie
Mon seul l'un, mon seul l'amour.

My Only Love

2008-04-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

Love is very difficult to understand
You may give any definition to it
You can say anything about it
And it's up to you to believe it or not.

From the very start of the day
I knew I have loved you
And I'm willing to risk my heart
Anything, I'll do for you.

With love, I felt the ecstasy
The happiness of loving you
And the feeling of being loved
By someone who you can lean on to.

It's my first time to try
To open my heart to someone else
Whom I had trusted much
And to whom I have given my heart to.

The love of my life is sweet
Caring, thoughtful and gentleman indeed.
My love has tha quality I adored much
To all human, he's the prime one.

Every word in this poem
I dedicate to you, my sweetheart
To you the man of my heart
My only one, my only love.